Blogging in B Minor

For some reason I hit a wall yesterday. I’m not sure why but it is eerily reminiscent of the way I felt on several occasions while going through radiation and taking daily chemo. I feel fatigued and have just a general malaise. It’s hard to describe. It feels like you have a flu but not so bad that you have to lie in bed all day? That’s the best way to describe it. Perhaps delayed radiation effects but based on my discussion tonight it’s more chemo-related. This is the tough part – as long as these side-effects are few and far between, I’m okay with them. If they started becoming more consistent, I’d have to start evaluating them in terms of quality of life. What return are we getting from the Temodar – by taking it for six months vs. how it’s impacting my life because for the 2-3 day period this hits me, it’s unpleasant enjoying life is not easy to do. Anyway, it’s not an issue now so I can fortunately table all of that. For now, I’m just pushing through this short period and maintaining life as normally as I can. No calling in sick for this guy!

The UCSF film review will take place tomorrow and although I shouldn’t be anxious about it I do have some anxiety. The last time I spoke with Dr. Berger I was quite surprised – I expected him to concur with the Tumor Board here in Sacramento and of course he had a dissenting opinion and before I knew it I was having brain surgery. I do not think anything like that will be happening tomorrow at all! Surgery as I now know leads to hemiplegia, however, if he sees growth where others have not I have a new ballgame on my hands. I will post results when I have time.

I met with my oncologist today. It was a positive meeting for the most part. We discussed the current course of treatment and future strategy – perhaps adding another chemotherapy drug and taking a cocktail approach. There is a theory that you attack primary brain tumors by throwing a combination of drugs at them to more or less keep them guessing to keep it in simple terms. There are drawbacks in terms of side effects though. One issue is that you trade one evil for another, such as Leukemia. Chemotherapy drugs can result in a secondary cancer in some cases. This may not happen, and if it does may not happen until down the line but it could. What choice does one have really? We talked about the merits of continuing the current course longer than six months. There are studies related to how effective the drug can be after six months.

All in all, it was a good discussion. I will get a CBC at the end of the fourth week and if my blood work looks okay, I will start on my second cycle.

It’s late (yeah, 9:45pm is late for me!) so I’m going to bed. Well, if you have to take chemotherapy pills you just take them and go to sleep as soon as you can! It’s something you adapt to…

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