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Quote of the Day:

Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent.
- Victor Hugo
Mar 03

The Little Things In Life

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I receive a lot of emails every day from people – a lot of brain tumor survivors, family members, friends of survivors and of course from fellow musicians. Every once in awhile an email comes through that really grabs my attention. Today was one of those days. Several days ago I received an email from a woman who explained that her father has colon cancer and that he was going to be leaving on a trip to receive some specialized treatment. She said that she really liked my song River of Faith which is the title track of my CD and that she had searched the internet high and low for the lyrics. She continued by saying that her family was getting together to see him off that she wanted to make a family circle at this get together, play my song and give everyone there a copy of the lyrics to take with them – as a reminder to hold on to strength and hope. I sent her the lyrics and told her that my thoughts and prayers were firmly with her father and her family.

Today she sent me an email just to thank me and said that listening to the song really touched her and her family’s emotions. What an amazing compliment and how humbling indeed. As a songwriter, certainly this is what we strive – to connect with people through our music.  For me, this song was really something that came in the middle of my trial and was my way of keeping the faith – not swimming against it but letting it flow.  What I was happy to hear is that someone else was able to garner the same strength, hope and faith from the song as I did. Of all of the songs on my CD, this song has also enjoyed some radio success. For me, this song along with The Messenger and Angels of the Night are closest to me for my own reasons.

Many times in life it’s the little things that make life worth living.

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Mar 02

The Complex World of Brain Tumor Treatment

Brain Tumor Treatment, My Story 2 Comments »

One of the most difficult aspects I have faced as a brain tumor survivor is making decisions around how to treat my tumor. In the beginning, there are a million different alternatives thrown in your face. I empathize with people starting this journey because it’s difficult. What do you believe? Who do you believe? Everyone has an opinion and most all of them come from extremely intelligent, highly educated professionals. Do you opt for a clinical trial right off the bat? You could, and it could be the one that makes the difference. It could also be a trial that fails. Or, do you opt for a treatment that has proven success – even if that success doesn’t sound appealing?

With any brain tumor you want to CURE this thing right off the bat. You want to knock it out. You want to employ a treatment modality that has the highest likelihood of doing the job. At the same time, you don’t want to kill yourself in the process! Tough situation. For me, it came down to a simple decision. There is a ton of research taking place – new discoveries are happening each year. I decided this was about utilizing a modality that would extend my life out as long as possible so trials that are now in Phase I or even Phase II could be proven out. If my tumor shows ANY growth, I will avail myself to these treatments but for now, I am adhering to the tried and true treatment that UCSF, Harvard, Duke, MD Anderson and many other experts have recommended in my case – and that was IMRT radiation for 5 weeks with concurrent Temodar and then 6 months of Temodar on an alternating weekly schedule. I am finishing my 6th cycle now. I will continue until 1 year and then stop, unless there is shrinkage in which case I will continue. If there is growth, then it’s time to look at trials and other “cocktails” and go off the beaten path. There is a Neurosurgeon at MD Anderson in Houston, Texas that found himself with a grade 4 GBM – he was faced with all of this. Guess what he chose to do? Radiation and Temodar. He has a wife, children and everything to live for just like anyone else.

We can all over-analyze this. I did. But in the end, for me, it was about going with tried and true methods that had the best percentages of extending my life out, increasing my survival rate and attempting to ensure that I’m here when even better treatments are available. The problem with clinical trials is that many of them require that you’ve had no prior treatment – if you’ve already been on Temodar, for example, you aren’t eligible for the trial. However, if you have recurrent growth, then you can jump back on. That’s my own personal strategy. But initially, I’m driving the car that has been manufactured for 40 years and has an engine that I know won’t die for awhile.  Of course this is a terrible analogy with regard to Temodar, because it, too, was a clinical trial just a few years ago and was found to be extremely effective fighting grade 4 astrocytomas (aka GBMs).  Researchers subsequently determined that this chemotherapy was effective fighting grade 3 astrocytomas and oligoastrocytomas.  This is just one man’s opinion, of course!

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