Blogging in B Minor

I’ve come to the end of the road with chemotherapy. As you know from the last several posts, I was off chemo (again) for nearly 6 weeks and just hopped back on the wagon and completed my first week on Tuesday. However, I developed an infection over the past 3 days which is no coincidence so I went in to see my neuro-oncologist today at her request after discussing it with my case manager at the Sutter Neuroscience Institute.

Upon discussion with my neuro-oncologist, we discussed a number of points, namely that I’ve had to come off chemotherapy for extended periods in the last 3 months, once for the terrible flu I had to ward off and a second time and more recently for the cold that brought my absolute neutrophil count down into the 850 range. Then we talked about having to come off again to ward off another infection. In charting out labs since November, my counts have steadily decreased as my posts have indicated. I’m now essentially lymphopenic, meaning I have an abnormally low level of lymphocytes in my blood. Lymphocytes are a white blood cell with important functions in the immune system. The most common cause of “temporary” lymphocytopenia is a recent infection, such as the common cold. Makes sense! However, with me it’s been going on for awhile. To date, this hasn’t really been called into question but we have reached a point where we have to question the effectiveness and logic behind continuing treatment if I have to periodically pause my treatment because of issues like this. I could try the 5 days on and 25 off but that is a much higher dose and would hammer my immune system even harder. I would have just as much of an issue there.

In the end, I have completed 7 rounds of “week on/week off” therapy. That’s 3 1/2 months over that 7 months of being on chemotherapy 24 hours a day. This regimen is being used in trials today so there isn’t a lot of data but it’s something that we view as a solid approach. I wanted to get to a year but I can’t will myself there. My body wouldn’t let me. This is God’s way of telling me it’s time to stop and move on – live my life, feel normal again, enjoy my family and live day by day. If we ever encounter growth, it just goes back to the original discussion around surgery, chemo, etc. I could go back on chemo using Temodar or another chemotherapy drug. I could have surgery – it would all depend upon what took place.

There is a part of me, I must admit, that feels as though a security blanket is being pulled away from me. My tumor and scans have been stable – no growth at all. There was some growth, albeit slight, from the time we discovered this in the initial MRI in 12/2006 to when I had my surgery in 6/2007. Since my surgery, however, this has been a stable situation. Pulling the chemo out of the mix is like taking off that life vest, but I know God is there and He is in the middle of this – He is steering the boat, not me and as usual, it’s about giving it up.

Time to move on to a new chapter. This was a good run. I will continue with scans every 60 days and I will have another here soon. It will take about 6 months for my immune system to recover and return to a relatively normal state. I will take the same antibiotic, Bactrim, that I have taken all along during the next 6 months to help fill the void in my immune system. Other than that, this is where I stand!

Cheers,

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