Monday – Sad Day
My Story 1 Comment »Yesterday was a tough day. I won’t use names to protect the anonymity of the person involved, but someone who has been just an integral part of my treatment – more in the background but has just been an angel – took her own life over the weekend. I received a call yesterday morning. It was a shock to everyone. She leaves behind a teenage son whom she left a note for before she carried out what I personally view as a very selfish, self-serving act. It may be harsh to say, because I cared about her very much, but frankly that’s what it is – straight up. She helped Rachael and I more than anyone will ever know. I always knew that she was there for us if there was anything we needed.
It was hard for me to feel sadness yesterday and I’m having a hard time feeling it today. I’m angry and frustrated by what she has done. It came as a total shock. She had some trials in her life just as many of us do. She had a few relationships that went sour, some depression and other things that I talked to her at length about over lunches. She had become a friend over the years but I along with others, including her family, never saw this coming. I tried to lead her to God but I know she is with Him now. That is my perspective. I know there are differing opinions when it comes to the 6th Commandment but none of us knows what happens when a soul leaves this earth. She was a giving, loving person with a caring heart that would help anyone. She helped countless brain tumor patients – hundreds including patients with other neurological ailments. There is no doubt in my mind that she is there. It’s so unfortunate that she helped so many yet placed herself last in line and chose a permanant solution to a temporary problem. How important it is indeed to acknowledge in life what is temporal vs eternal.
As brain tumor survivors and from my own perspective, I could throw in the towel and quit but I can’t even wrap my mind around it. The apostle Paul faced total despair in Asia and could have given up many times, but he held on to God. In retrospect, there was nothing that anyone could obviously do. I spoke to her many times as did family members and I’m sure friends – just helping her through rough spots.
For those who are believers. We must live steadfast with God and live in today. I know I’ve said that over and over but it is so important to me and a cornerstone of my way of life today. For non-believers – live in today! Romans 8:5 says “For those who live according to the flesh have their outlook shaped by the things of the flesh. But those who live according to the Spirit have their outlook shaped by the things of the Spirit”. The situation itself is very sad but my thoughts and prayers are for her son who will have to live with this. What she set in motion is set. Prayers need to go out to him and her family now dealing with the wake of sorrow and grief left behind. You see, there is no sorrow or grieving in heaven. Heaven is perfect. Here on earth, however, there is plenty of that to endure. This is a huge trial that has been created and her son and others will have to carry this. And, the other aspect that is sad is the opportunity to allow God to work through her with patients as she did so well is now gone. She was great at what she did.
Please pray. Even though I’m not using names, just pray for “Mark’s caring and helpful friend who was so instrumental in his treatment over the past 3 years – for her son and that he can garner strength and hope from God, that he can be led to God and find solace, faith and comfort and that this setback will not impact his life in such a way that he will be hindered in any way.”
Finally, one of her favorite songs on my River of Faith CD was Angels of the Night which is now so ironic and pretty eerie. I’ll just close by putting the streaming audio clip here.
Angels of the Night
Rest in peace dear. You’ll be missed but you’re gone way too soon…
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