Acceptance
My Story November 15th, 2009
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Do any of us want to accept this diagnosis? I didn’t and there are still times, such as this period of being sick that I find hard to accept. But if there are a few principles – a few truths that God has taught me through this so far they are:
- I’m not in control. My purpose in life isn’t and wasn’t defined by me. I’m following a road that I have accepted – not accepting it would be like swimming upstream. The fact is, I can’t change my circumstances other than the steps I am already taking, within my means. This notion is tested, repeatedly sometimes, but it’s the approach and belief that is the cornerstone of the way I live today
- Family and a strong network is vitally important. This diagnosis can create pain and strife in the home mainly due to the fact that everyone is trying to come to grips with the same reality. I can’t know exactly what it’s like for my wife and vice versa to accept and walk through this new world. The same applies to my family but at home, being sick like this is hard. Rachael is so supportive picking up most everything. For anyone, that network is vital.
- Stay in Today – This has really underscored the need to stay in today, positive or negative. I felt this after my two surgeries but being in the hospital a few times plus this stay for 8 days, knowing each day what was happening was all I needed to look at. Today. And today wasn’t so bad.
I started this post a few days ago so I’m just getting back to it to finish. My counts still aren’t up! This is frustrating but at least I’m not sick – no fever, chills, etc. My marrow just took a hit and it’s going to take a little bit more time to increase counts. So, I have to be a bubble boy and just be very careful. It’s sounds crazy – to me too – but this flu had the ability to evolve into meningitis and of course pneunomia. Maybe I should wear a mask when I go to the lab - or maybe a WWII full on gas mask or a darth vadar helmet to really freak people out. A darth vadar mask, hospital gown and a black cape. Awesome.
CBC tomorrow and I will find out where my WBC and ANC are sitting.
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I say wear the Darth Vader mask and cape! ha ha – and tell your wife to dress like Princess Leah! ha ha you’ll both have everyone staring at you!
I am so sorry you had such a bout with the flu — what an ordeal! I sure hope your blood counts are back up soon. You are always such an inspiration to all of us with your positive thinking, living in the moment, and faith. You and your family are always in my prayers.