As songwriters, we all center our songs around a central message. When we begin to craft a song we ask ourselves a few important questions: a) what do we want say, b) how do we want to say it and c) whom do we want to say it to? We accomplish this in a number of different ways. Sometimes we tell a story with our songs. One of my favorite songwriters of all time who structures a lot of his songs in a “story” type of format is Dan Fogelberg. More often than not, however, songs are conveying a message using an over-arching metaphor of some type. The River of Faith album, as you know if you have read the album review, is a journey through life’s trials based on my own season of struggle after being diagnosed with a primary brain tumor. The album’s songs range from feelings of struggle and sadness to feelings of hope, strength and faith.

Most of the time, the music comes pretty quickly for me. I can write melodies all day long. When I start writing lyrics and start getting into how the feeling behind the lyrics fits with the music, the rhyming structure I want to use, the “cinema” necessary to allow listeners to truly envision what I’m trying to say or the picture I’m trying to paint – that is where the real grinding starts. I can’t recall who it was but a songwriter once said that his favorite part of writing a song was the beginning and the end!

Below you
will
find narrative
that describes the
“back story”
related to each
song on the River
of Faith album.Below you will find narrative that describes the “back story” related to each song on the River of Faith album. I have embedded a player below each segment so you can listen to each song if you’d like. I thought some of you might enjoy this as an “off-the-beaten-path” component of the site.

Track 1 - The Messenger

The Messenger is a special song to me. Believe it or not, the lyrics for the song came very fast. The Messenger’s “message” is clear – God sends the “wise owl” in this song down to the subject in the song – and in this case I was writing about myself but the listener of course applies that person to themselves, to intercede in my path so I don’t stray into the wrong direction. It’s a fantasy-laden picture and I was very happy with the use of cinema in this song. You can envision this place – the grassy knoll, the rainbow touching the sky, angels sliding down, this owl perched up in a tree and finally whisking you up high above your strife. It’s a song that you have to let yourself go with – it’s obviously not literal but the message is clear. The song climaxes into the chorus with lyrics that speak to how I have felt through this journey - that all I feel I have on many days is faith. Without faith in God, I don’t feel like I have much else to go on.

Faith is the basis of this album and the basis of how I live my life and have been able to sustain myself through this trial in my life. As you know, when I pressed my CDs in April, Hebrews 11:1 is etched right into the face of the CD. Most don’t know but the most significant neurological deficit and risk I faced going into the surgery (aside from the highly unlikely but very serious risks) was loss of use of my left leg or a partial loss resulting in an unstable gait. I decided to use a Sharpie pen and write HEBREWS 11:1 in large letters down my left thigh the morning of my surgery. It was just my way of having that verse facing up to the heavens during the brain surgery. My way of showing God that even though I was under anesthesia, I wanted Him to know that my faith was with Him.

Through my experience with this brain tumor, I have had to hold on – and hold on and live each day “with my everything”. That pretty much sums up this song. It came quickly. I wrote this song in about a week from start to finish – music, lyrics, recording, mixing, mastering and in the can. Too bad not all songs can go that way and this one ended up being selected as Song of the Month on the Christian Songwriter’s Network. Sometimes that is just the way it goes.

Track 2 - Like a Song

There’s nothing in this world - like a song.There’s nothing in this world - like a song. Not all of the songs on River of Faith are straight-ahead CCM. Like a Song was a song about a song! And not any particular song really. I was watching a comedian named Jack Gallagher and he does some really entertaining “one-man plays”. He has one that is about his old childhood home and how his parents passed away and all of the feelings that he went through when the home changed, his siblings started discussing selling it and he started reminiscing about all of the times, good and bad, he had growing up – including the relationship with his father and mother. At one point in the play he recalled singing with his mother and sisters and how he could still remember the songs – and how there is nothing else in the world like a song – it takes you back to where you were, the environment – even what you could smell at the time you were listening to it.

After watching this, I wrote a song about it partly because I was inspired but I also wanted to emphasize the power of the songs on the album - what they meant to me and how this song would set up the album. I placed it up-front because the songs that follow this song on River of Faith, to me, were powerful considering what they represent. Songs are powerful and from a worship standpoint, you may remember a handful of sermons in your lifetime but you will remember 100’s of worship songs.

Track 3 - My Way Home

This was the first song I wrote for this album. Again, and I can never explain why, but it came fast. The lyrics and the music came fast. This song is about the confusion and uncertainty of not having answers. Even though this was written in the very beginning – how true this still is even though I have a much better perspective today. The chorus culminates with “I’ve been down every lonely road – but I still haven’t found my way home”. Home is a metaphor in this song. Home is an answer to my dilemma. Home
is clarity.Home is a metaphor in this song. Home is an answer to my dilemma. Home is clarity. And at that time and all the way until May all I felt like I was doing was spinning my wheels. My MRI scans showed an “abnormality”. They were a “finding”. They were this and that. I had no answers. I was told over and over that “we just keep running tests and we’ll have more data points”. I just kept researching. You’ll find much of my research in the resource library on this site.

At this point in the journey, I have found my way home. I do have answers. And I knew the answer and comfort was there in God but these were different answers I was seeking. I knew that then but I can’t tell you how it feels to be faced with this just like I can’t walk in your shoes and understand what you may be going through now or something that you may have experienced in the past. He is the way and has taken the burden off of my shoulders but knowing what this is and having clarity has helped me immensely.

Track 4 - Angels of the Night

As with most writers, I never know where a song’s inspiration will come from - or when it will come. I had the music finished and fully produced for this piece for a good 3-4 weeks before the inspiration came and everything started flowing lyrically for this song from the primary message to the melodies. As I said above, this is how I typically write - the music comes first and then I write the lyrics and create the vocal melodies from that foundation. There are different schools of thought here but most believe that if you write lyrics first and then try to set them to music it’s more difficult. I find that I can work more effectively with music first.

For “Angels of the Night”, I learned about a boy being cared for by my Neurosurgeon (if you care to read the “back story”, you can find it here http://www.sacbee.com/health/story/169025.html). God really worked through her and the team of doctors and pulled off a miracle. I view people like her as Godsent, thus the metaphor of angels. The metaphor took on multiple meanings as explained further below. Someone in my Neurosurgeon’s office even made the statement “they are like angels - I don’t know how they do what they do”.

The story about this boy inspired me to write this song.The story about this boy inspired me to write this song. It started with him in mind but as with most songs, I tried to strike a balance between the personal and universal so everyone could identify with it and apply it to their own lives, in their own way. The metaphor of angels took on new meanings as I continued to write and let the song sink in. Angels sent by God (the doctors) and Angels sent to look over this young boy as he faced what he was facing. At one point during his trial, the doctors had to put him into a coma to stabilize him - the chorus lines “the angels of the night, they’ll be with you, they’ll be your light…please believe and just hold on….” were firmly born out of this story, thinking about him and the doctors watching over him during the night. However, the lyrics also resonated with me in thinking about how God was with him, and how God was surely working through the doctors at that time and throughout his journey. And the rest of the lyrics also centered around what this boy must have been going through just in his general life – how afraid he must have been, what his friends thought – did they stick by him? Did they think he was different when he came out of this? He was so young. Why was his life turned so upside down? Regardless, God is there for everyone and in this case I used the metaphor of Angels sent by God to be there for this young boy – to watch over him, to heal him – to lift his wings and help him soar like an eagle.

Track 5 - Always My Guide

Always My Guide can seem somewhat dark when you listen to the verses – and it is squarely set in the struggle I was facing. I felt that days were grey – I felt sorrow. I felt dried up – couldn’t even shed tears anymore. As the song moves into the intro-chorus, I moved into how I felt like I was wearing chains – trapped with this tumor – I couldn’t change it and I used the metaphor of not being able to pull back the reins – like runaway horses – total lack of control.

The point to the song though is brought forward in the chorus. God is my guide. I have tried all my life to follow his will – and no, we aren’t perfect – that’s why He sacrificed everything for us. But as long as I always know He’s on my side and I can turn to him, as long as I know I always have a guide, I will be safe, I will have that guidance that I need to walk through anything, one day at a time.

Track 6 – River of Faith

River of Faith is of course the title track of the album. This song was featured on WHAZ 97.5 FM New York and plays in their rotation. The host, Paul Gibbs shared much of my story with his listeners which I found amazing considering how precious airtime is these days. You can hear the excerpt of the show below:

River of Faith Featured on WHAZ 97.5 FM New York

This song is the essence of the albumThis song is the essence of the album - it focuses on faith, no matter what life throws at you. The metaphor is of course a river – that we are all on this river of faith. Sometimes we swim against it and fight it – with our own will getting in the way. Other times we flow with it and we follow His will for us. Wouldn’t life be easier if we could always turn our will and life over the care of God each day and just be done with it? It’s not that easy. On this river of faith, we swim against the current sometimes, don’t we? I do. But when I can get in sync and flow with the river and allow these burdens of the day, whether they be my health or other strife in my life, to be lifted - everything is so much easier. It starts with prayer and worship. And we aren’t perfect. I mess up all the time! In this song, it’s me getting out a canoe and some paddles and trying to go upstream or trying to paddle up a waterfall sometimes - a waterfall that was necessary to come down - perhaps a waterfall I looked down for a long time and I was fearful of. These are all metaphors I thought about when writing this song but the finished piece really embodies the gist of the message I wanted to convey.

“Keep us safe, lift this weight and guide us straight - keep us safe as we flow down the River of Faith…”

Track 7 – The Great Divide

The Great Divide – this is a story song. It’s the fastest-paced song on the album as well. This song is about struggle but also sends a message that many of us search for solutions when the entire time it’s right in from of us – and the solution is in Him. The chorus to this song:

As I was wasting my time
As I read between the lines
in You I had found the answer
As I faced down my fears
The canyon floor and walls sheer
You helped me cross the great divide

Reading between the lines – looking for answers in the wrong places. This song is about facing fears with the help of God. Placing your trust in Him and moving forward. For me, this was all I could do. I can’t change the fact that I have brain cancer. But I can choose I how approach this trial in my life. The verses in this song are mired in struggle. The chorus is focused on overcoming this struggle.

Track 8 – Painting the Sky

Painting the Sky is about a woman who has experienced loss and has worked to overcome it. Some songs have a setting, some do not. This one is set on the east coast. For some reason, I had Martha’s Vineyard in mind when I wrote this song. The song’s metaphor, Painting the Sky, means looking to the heavens and God to overcome sorrow and
strife The song’s metaphor, Painting the Sky, means looking to the heavens and God to overcome sorrow and strife – using God as release to sculpt a new life and move forward past trials in life. The lyrics I wrote surround this central metaphor - painting the sky, sculpting the sun, looking up, seeking the blue between the clouds instead of looking only at dark clouds, breaking free – all signs that she is turning things around and has turned this loss in her life over to the care of God. All signs that she is in a state of surrender. That is essentially what I wanted the character in the song to accomplish.

Of course one of the goals of a songwriter is to be concrete yet universal in writing. A songwriter writes a song that is sometimes very personal to them, sometimes not. Most of the time they are for me and I think that many songwriters will say the same. Therefore, every listener will interpret this song differently.

For me, this song could be about anyone experiencing loss – my wife losing me was the essence of this song and although it was hard to write, it’s something that helps me. I haven’t talked about it much but I know that regardless of what the future holds, it’s all in God’s hands and He will ensure that everyone that is touched by what is happening in our lives is guided down the path that He has planned. I have complete faith in that.

Track 9 – I Pray

When I wrote this song I was very moved and inspired.When I wrote this song I was very moved and inspired. What I vividly remember is writing the bridge. The lyrics for the bridge were written to people who are “on the fence” and not necessarily Believers but could be given the right circumstances. The bridge lyrics – “so what do you have to lose? Just get down on your knees and open up this time and lift His name on high….” I remember being in my studio and I had just written the lyrics that really worked and I was recording the vocal tracks. I was so moved. I was thinking about everything I was going through. I myself was so moved I just got down on my knees in between takes and just prayed. I prayed for healing. I prayed for my wife. I prayed for my son Aidan – my children.

This song is about prayer. Praying for the poor, the children of the world, the broken, for guidance, for His will in our lives. Just pray.

Track 10 – Open Wide

Open Wide is a true story song. The focus of the story is sitting at home on a cold, rainy night in front of the fire place and reading the bible. It’s really that simple. The song unfolds and speaks of opening your heart – being open to the Word. There really isn’t much more to say – it’s straight-forward, simple and easy to understand.

Track 11 - The King He Reigns

Again, another song that is so simple. This is straight ahead 12-string guitar, a strat, drums base and some synth textures. It is about what God does for you in your life. For me, it is what He is doing for me and my family during this difficult time.

Track 12 – I Need You Now

I pray every day. I pray for others, I pray for my situation and I thank God for everything He does in my life. I Need You Now is a song about my son – about how much my son needs
me, my wife, his brother Keegan and how much we need each other as a family unit. I need God’s help to pull me through this trial in my life.I Need You Now is a song about my son – about how much my son needs me, my wife, his brother Keegan and how much we need each other as a family unit. I need God’s help to pull me through this trial in my life. It is difficult to think about my son going on without me here - I know he will. I know God will guide him and my family but it’s difficult. And when you think your loved ones here and your not being here - there is no sorrow in heaven, there is no pain or hurt. It’s a perfect place.

The song paints a picture of my son waiting for me to arrive home each night. He hears the key in the door. He always greets me by running to the door. I don’t want him to lose that. The beginning of the song is based on a day that I was particularly down – it was the day I was called and told I needed to have a brain biopsy. I drove to a remote location – all that was there were oak trees. The skies were cloudy. I was upset. I just opened up the sunroof of my car, reclined my seat, looked up into the sky and prayed. I was there for probably an hour. When I was finished, I drove around in circles – I was confused. Looking back, it was almost more difficult then than it is now. I think this goes back to some of what I have shared above - particularly the background for the song “My Way Home”. I have answers now. I have clarity. And, although the news and the future is filled with uncertainty, I live for today and have been able to strive for acceptance and work towards surrender. On this day, I was far from any these things. It seemed as though my entire world was crashing down around me and I suppose in some ways, for me at that time, it was.

The whole song was hard to write but I wanted to get this out. It is still hard to listen to but that is what songwriting is about. When I think about a song like Eric Clapton’s Tears in Heaven - what a painful place to be and what sorrow he poured out in that song. This doesn’t even come close to that of course in terms of what he endured but for me, this was the beginning of my journey and I now know I’m facing my mortality. I’m glad I wrote the song. For the music, I wanted it to be raw - not a built up production like many of the other songs on the album. I wanted it to be raw and simple. Therefore, it was appropriate that it be a Steinway B acoustic piano with a small string section - I chose a cello and a 2nd viola and violin. That’s it. Those instruments embodied the emotion that I wanted.

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