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Faith is reason grown courageous.
- Sherwood Eddy

Memorial Service Details

Blog, Support 9 Comments »

Friday, July 23, 2010 @ 10:30 am.
Bayside Community Church (High School Building)
8171 Sierra College Blvd., Granite Bay, CA 95746

*Reception immediately following (also located at Bayside).

In lieu of flowers, an education fund has been created for Aidan and Keegan. 

Donations may be mailed to: R W Baird & Co. Inc., 300 University Ave. #200, Sacramento, CA 95825 (payable to Rachael Miller FBO Aidan and Keegan Miller Education Fund).

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At Peace

My Story, Support 20 Comments »

It is with profound sadness that I’m writing this post. Mark lost his battle with brain cancer Saturday night around midnight. He died peacefully in his sleep, surrounded by family. We will all remember Mark in our way, as he reached so many people in so many areas of his life. He was a father, son, husband, brother, musician, and friend. Many of us don’t know how we will go on without him, but our comfort is that we know where he is and who he is with.

His ultimate decline was quite rapid. A little over a month ago he had several emergency room visits that were seemingly unrelated, from flu-like symptoms to severe swelling in his hand. An MRI revealed that several new tumors had grown in less than two weeks. He was walking with a cane a little over two weeks ago, and then he was in a wheel chair. These last several days he was confined to his bed. We made the decision about three weeks ago to stop aggressive treatment and utilize hospice with comfort care. He was able to be at home with family and friends in that time without having to worry about hospital visits.

Mark’s first symptom was numbness in his left side over Christmas 2006. We initially thought it was a stroke. It was later revealed to be a Grade 3 brain tumor near his motor strip. In October 2008, it degenerated to a Grade 4 glioblastoma. Since the initial diagnosis Mark had two surgeries, a full course of radiation therapy, two radiosurgery treatments with GammaKnife, multiple courses of Temodar and Avastin, and the brain tumor vaccine DCVax.

Tragically, Mark’s mother Jo passed away on Sunday. His parents had been in town for several weeks to spend time with and care for Mark.  His mother had been in good health, and this was incredibly unexpected. Just as Mark was leaving us, Jo hugged her son, paid her final respects, and within minutes she was rushed to the hospital for what appeared to be stroke-like symptoms.  The CT scan revealed she suffered a massive brain bleed and lost consciousness in a matter of minutes.  It became apparent to the neurosurgeon, along with the neuro-radiologist that the bleed was inoperable and untreatable.  Jo passed away at 1:00 in the afternoon just thirteen hours after Mark lost his battle with cancer.

It is impossible to make any sense of this tragedy. Mark was just 42 and left behind two young children. Keegan just turned 3 and Aidan will be 8 in a month. It is natural to wonder for all of us where God is in these events. How can God allow a man to be taken with a wife and two children, and take his mother the very next day? I’m not sure there is an answer, but where I saw God the most was in Mark himself. Mark’s faith had been profoundly transformed over these last three and a half years, and he had become a man convinced of God’s love and grace, even more so than before he was diagnosed with a fatal brain tumor. And though he left us far too soon, when Mark’s time came, his faith brought him Home.  In the middle of these seemingly senseless losses, we can only take comfort in knowing that Mark and Jo are in heaven together, surrounded by God’s immeasurable glory, grace, and love.

I want to thank all of you who have loved and supported Mark and myself through this difficult time. I know he reached so many of you through this blog, and you all meant so much to him. He was posting just one week ago, typing with one hand on his iPhone when he could barely move. He wanted to share every bit of his experience with all of you. You have all become like his extended family, and it brought Mark tremendous comfort and joy that he was able to learn from and help so many of you. You will not be forgotten.

Goodbye Mark and Jo. We love you and miss you.

Mark’s Memorial Service will be:

Friday, July 23, 2010 @ 10:30 am.
Bayside Community Church (High School Building)
8171 Sierra College Blvd., Granite Bay, CA 95746

In lieu of flowers, an education fund for Aidan and Keegan is being created.  Details to follow.

Blessings,

Rachael

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Current Status

Blog, Medical Updates 16 Comments »

I know it’s been a while since Mark’s last post and we wanted to keep everyone up to date on his status. 

Mark was discharged from the hospital on July 2nd and we are all making adjustments to a new routine. 

As Mark mentioned in one of his earlier posts, after a lot of thought and prayer, we made the decision to retain at-home hospice services.  With the last MRI report revealing more new lesions and enhancement in such a short span of time, it made the decision to utilize hospice a little bit easier.  

Mark’s stability has been a growing concern in that the use of a cane was not giving him enough support.  He is now using a wheelchair to help him get around the home safely.  We are fairly home-bound due to his mobility issues, along with the tumor progression and how that limits him.  However, we have been enjoying friends and family visiting, helping and loving on us through this challenge.  His parents, who spend their summers in Oregon, have been here the last several weeks and plan to stay on as they offer tremendous support to not just Mark, but to our entire family.  In addition, Mark’s daughter Lauren, who lives in Southern California, was able to take a leave of absence from her job and has been staying with us, helping with Mark and the boys, running countless errands, doing lots of household chores and saying yes to every favor we ask of her! 

While we wouldn’t have wished for this journey ourselves, the outpouring of support from loved ones, family, friends, and even people who barely know us have comforted us beyond words, providing critical reminders that we are not alone on this path.  No, it isn’t what we would’ve chosen, but coming to a place of acceptance and the peace that brings with it is an immense blessing I couldn’t have foreseen.   

We can’t thank all of you enough for your continuous love, support and prayers. 

All our love,

Rachael (on behalf of Mark)

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Safari Trip

My Story No Comments »

I don’t have a lot of time to write right now but we had a great time this weekend on her trip with Aidan. Here is a good series of pictures that is representative of what we experienced.   It was a great memory for us.  Our cabin was perched on a hill so my legs were worked hard.  PT this morning.

We hope you enjoy the pics.  Added a few more.

[flickrset id="72157623359703239" thumbnail="square" overlay="true" size="small"]

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Fun with Video

My Story 1 Comment »

We purchased a Flip Video HD – they are so great.  HD quality, fits in your hand like a cell phone and just hooks up to the pc via USB.

With our new camera, I was luckily able to catch a secret rehearsal taking place – Keegan Miller preparing for his would tour with Elmo.  Check it out:

YouTube Preview Image

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Father’s Day

My Story 1 Comment »

I’m FINALLY feeling better!  I didn’t post for quite awhile because this cold just became worse and worse and it finally required anti-biotics.  It’s taken the better part of a few weeks or more to start feeling better.  I still have remnants but at least I’m not laid out like I was.  This is a repeat of what happened last spring but I think it’s come and gone now.  Thank you for all of the emails and comments on the site.  Your words of encouragement have meant a lot. 

So Father’s Day – it was really nice.  My son Aidan – he has such a soft heart and as you’ve seen in other posts, he loves to color.  Well, he made a card for me and this one wasn’t so much coloring but it brought tears to my eyes.  These are the moments I live for.  This is why I want time.  There are are hard times, yes.  Really tough times.  Tough times at home trying to deal with what we call a “new normal”.  Tough times juggling work, medications, and doctors.  A very heavy load on my wife having to pick up pieces because I can’t do what I used to do.  Most of you know exactly what I’m talking about.

But…there are these wonderful bright spots that shine through.  Sometimes you have to look for them and sometimes they are right in front of you.  This was right in front of me on Sunday.

I’ll just place it in this post and close here.

aidan-fathers-day-09.jpg

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Memories for Later

My Story 1 Comment »

This was a great weekend with Aidan in particular, our 6 year-old son.  First, he loves to color as you might know if you are a regular reader.  I put this slideshow together last July showing some of the drawings he made – just looking at life through a 6 year-old’s eyes.  Anyway, he made the most thoughtful and tear-jerking card for me this weekend.  Just click on the thumbnail to load the card:

aidancardsized.jpg

On Sunday, I took Aidan to his first NBA Game – the Sixers vs. the Sacramento Kings.  We are LA Laker fans all the way!  I have been since I was a kid so I’m making sure he will be!  But we didn’t care much - he’s never been and it was a total suprise – he didn’t know where we were going until we got there.  My company has season tickets and I was able to to get a pair for this game – and the seats are amazing so this will be a great memory for us:

kings-game-dadaidansized.jpg

Aidan – So happy to be at his first NBA game

kings-game-aidansized.jpg

View from our seats:

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And finally here’s the tickets, just so they are archived here always:

kings-tickets-aidan.jpg

What a great weekend!  I was actually feeling better too – no seizures and I had more energy.  My weight is still an issue though.  I just don’t feel like eating so I’m doing a lot of protein shakes and smoothies (berries and so forth).  I’ve gone from 175 or so to 160/165 or so.  I’ll be talking to my doctor about this soon.

That’s all for now…

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In Memory of Dakota

My Story 3 Comments »

dakota-350.jpgYesterday was a tough day for our family.  We lost our black lab Dakota.  We have two labs – a blonde and black, Bailey and Dakota.  They were the best of friends.  We first had Bailey, our blonde lab back in 2000 and he was about 2 years old – we rescued both of them.  We got Dakota about a year or so later.

Dakota was a true retriever.  When we lived in Southern California and took him to the beach, we would throw a ball past the shore break and he would just sprint out into ocean, dive under the shore breakers and grab the ball.  This guy would bring it right back, drop it at your feet and look up at you ready for more!  He had no fear and was built like a rock.  We took him down to a creek once that had a deep pool at one point in the creek.  There was an overhang looking over the pool that was about 6 feet high over the pool.  We thought “he won’t jump from there will he?”.  We knew the pool was safe because it was so deep.  Once the ball came out and he knew what we were doing, he just walked right up to the overhang ready to go.  The ball went in and he was flying through the air!  What a dog! 

The other story I really remember about Dakota that showed his toughness is Aidan threw a ball in the backyard and Dakota turned around and started running – he ran right into an aluminum column that supports our patio cover.  It bent the entire column but didn’t phase Dakota.  He got the ball and came back to drop it at Aidan’s feet.  And then there was the laser light!  He would chase my presentation laser incessantly.  Bailey could care less!  Not Dakota – he would go for hours if I let him.  Run it up the wall, on to the ceiling and he would just stare it down.

We are sure going to miss him.  I’m going to spare all of the details because I want this post to be happy.  He was a great a dog with a wonderful personality.  He wasn’t the type of dog that was a “curl up beside you” affectionate dog but he probably could have been a drug dog and was definitely a retriever.  Our son Aidan loved taking him in the backyard so he could “watch him skateboard” and Dakota and Bailey also loved to play together.

baileyndakotasm.jpgDakota, you were one great dog and we know you are in a much better place with God now – your quality of life here would not have been good and you can now run forever, jump over fences, into pools and do so many things that we can’t even begin to conceive.  I wonder what you’re doing now but I can’t help but think that you’re carrying something in your mouth (maybe a worn out tennis ball) and running as fast as you can.

We will always remember the good times that we had with you, the great brother you were to Aidan, Bailey and Keegan and the laughter you brought into our home for so many years.  I think your buddy Bailey also would say the same types of things if he could talk.   He spent a lot of his time with you, and one day you’ll both see each other again and can curl up on the floor and you can beat him to a ball on the grass – which won’t be very hard!

We’ll never forget you buddy….

Love, Mark, Rachael, Aidan, Keegan, Telli the Cat and Bailey xoxoxo

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